The Laid Off Diary: Dear Diary…this sucks.

June 5, 2009, 4:34 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Dear Diary:

I fell asleep in the subway today. It’s actually the first time I really fell asleep. I was incredibly tired from crashing at my friends house in Brooklyn and then waking up early to make it back to walk the ingrate dog. Then I did some errands and visited a friend uptown and then on the way home, I fell asleep. It was a really nice stress-free sleep. I mean, nevermind looking like a complete idiot, it was more that I was tired, I didn’t care if anyone saw me fall asleep and drool on myself, but it was also that I have all the time in the world and even if I missed my stop, well, no problem. The only schedule I have these days is my dog’s pee schedule. 3-4x a day, every 6-8 hours. Not a bad schedule.

I also fell asleep in central park. I’ve fallen asleep on a Tuesday afternoon. I’ve taken a nap at 11am. I’ve fallen asleep on my friend’s couch. I don’t want you to think that I’m a slacker or necroleptic–it’s just that I’ve been so relaxed lately. I’ve fallen asleep mostly sober so it’s just being relaxed and not worried about deadlines. When I was working, the only times I came close to falling asleep during the day (or at work) was when I was either completely sleep deprived and the caffeine pumping through my veins no longer had any effect on me, or (when the market crashed) when I dragged my ass in after a night of hard partying that I was still drunk when I woke up at 9am. But it was always anxiety that kept my ass up.

Anyway, my cousin who is also a lawyer but in the OC (she apparently chose the better location than I did–it’s still fucking raining in NYC!) sent me an article in the LA Times titled “For the ‘Funemployed’, unemployment is welcome.”

When I was first laid off, I was relieved. I could finally be myself but I was still pretty anxious about money, my career, and what the hell I was going to do. But now, I actually feel lucky to have been laid off. I know it sounds weird but I was pretty close to becoming a billing zombie and burned out that I actually get about 6-12 months off to recoup and re-strategize about my life and during a time when being “laid off” has the least amount of stigma attached to it.

Also, I hate to say it to those who are still employed–the lay offs aren’t done yet. And it’s always better to be laid off early than later because we’re already networking and reaching out to people and tapping the market, perfecting our attack plan, etc. so, as the theory goes, we’ll probably be absorbed first back into the market so not only am I glad that I was laid off, but that I was laid off early.

–going to take a nap


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