The Laid Off Diary: Dear Diary…this sucks.


Captain Obvious
May 12, 2009, 12:53 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

captain-obvious
Dear Diary:

I realize people offer advice for the most part out of the goodness of their hearts–your dad, your mom, your dad again, your uncle, your old roommate from college, your dad again, your ex-dog walker, your grandparents, your dad again, your mom again, your brother, friends who aren’t in the legal world, your dad again…

But seriously, don’t say this to me: “You know what you need to do? You just need to get a job.”

No. Fucking. Shit.

Do these people think that I’m just sitting around with all these job offers and complaining about being broke for fun?

My roommate said that to me the other day when my roommate and my roommate’s friend were going out to dinner and they invited me out and I was complaining about being broke, the man, the weather, the man again, and about being broke again. My roommate actually said, “I think you just need to get a job and that will solve most of your problems.”

No, I just got a job offer for $300K a year but I thought I’d turn it down thinking it would solve most of my problems.

If another friend says to me: “I just don’t understand why you can’t find a job” I’m going to bring headbutting back in style.

And what do you mean by “a job”? I’m sure Starbucks would hire me. I’m also sure I could be a server at one of those annoying chain restaurants where I would have to wear 15 pieces of flare. And while we’re at it, a blow job is still technically a job.

But I need a job that can pay the bills and is worth giving up my unemployment check for. (wow, my standards have really gotten low).

Yesterday, one of my out of town friends visiting NYC was arguing with me because my friend didn’t understand why I couldn’t find a job that pays enough to cover my school loans, rent, etc. when the average salary of first years is like $90-100K according to law schools (my friend had looked into going to law school a few years back). Do people not know how math works? If some poor guy is making $40K a year starting but some jackass (formerly, me–well, actually I started as a first year before it was raised to $160K) is making $160K starting, then the average of the two is $100K. But that still means the poor schmuck is still making $40K, probably living at home, and hating the fact that most of his paycheck goes to pay his student loans for a useless degree.

I have signed up for a temp agency and most of the jobs don’t include over time (even though you work over time) and are only a few bucks more than what my friends were making before they passed the bar in tinylaw.
Hell, even my dog walker makes more per hour than I would at these temp jobs.

This, my friend, is what the world has come to.

–needing some job money

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1 Comment so far
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Yeah, you are completely right, people keep giving a great captain obvious solutions for the problems when the real thing is that the solution they give is so obvious… ‘go and find a job…’ ‘you cant find a job? how come?’… and things like that. That totally makes me angry. Especially the people that got a brand new job and they think they are so great and everything is so easy to do. NOT.

Comment by Getherer




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