The Laid Off Diary: Dear Diary…this sucks.


Fear Barrier
May 11, 2009, 12:01 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

ATHF
Dear Diary:

I’m glad that instead of staying up late because I clocked some extra document review hours, I’m staying up late because 1) I can for shits and giggles and 2) I can do whatever the hell I want to do now and 3) I can watch Adult Swim on Cartoon Network (for those who aren’t familiar, it’s a few shows of cartoons for adults –no, not adult cartoons like japanime porn you pervs–like Family Guy after it was canceled the first time, Futurama, Robot Chicken (clay animation), Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

I haven’t watched Aqua Teen Hunger Force for so long. It brings back good memories while I was in law school slacking and watching it with good friends or watching it to relax after bar review. Since I no longer have any cool friends (all replaced with BigLaw tool friends because that’s the only type of person I saw or could relate to in misery) and was no longer allowed to relax, I haven’t watched Adult Swim for a really long time.

Watching Aqua Teen Hunger Force tonight made me start thinking about my career. What am I so afraid of? I’m pursuing my hobbies but am also trying to figure out what to do with my career. I won’t lie, as unhappy as I was at BigLaw, I have been keeping my ear to the ground for possible private law firm positions (yes, mainly in BigLaw including their international offices). But I’m only do this because I’m really not sure what else I can do with my career and it’s just the easier path–back to the grind, back to collecting a paycheck…back to being miserable. I always hear that law is a great degree to have and can serve as a great platform for another type of career–I just haven’t found a direction in which to build from this platform that is supposedly so great. I blame the economy, I blame BigLaw, I blame my law school career counselors, I blame my parents for fucking me up in the head (but that’s another story)… but maybe what’s really keeping me from finding and actively pursuing something I really want to do is fear.

maybe it’s because I’m really afraid to take a leap and so I talk myself out of something or discourage myself before I really look into something new or different or creative or totally off the beaten path. But watching ATHF tonight made me think that if some douche (albeit, funny douche) can make money and have a long running cartoon (the character meatwad even appeared in a Dodge Ram commercial and they had a showcase at SXSW in Austin) about a flying carton of fries (Frylock) that can send out lightening bolts from it’s one long fry, an idiot milk shake (Master Shake), and a brainless shape-shifting wad of freaking ground meat that are always breaking into their neighbor Carl’s above ground pool and leaving a ring of grease, then I can certainly do something productive with my law degree and law license.

meatwad
MeatWad!!!

Of course, a lot of research needs to go into my next career move (well, mainly since the idea of a talking wad of meat has already been taken), but I think it’s time to man up and suit up and just go for it.

–My hero is the guy who came up with this character:
athfcarl

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5 Comments so far
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Hey – I just wanted to say Thank You for creating this blog. I am a currently-unemployed attorney down here in Austin too and this blog is one of the “go to” websites that I check every day. There’s just something about it that makes not working feel less…isolating. I know exactly what you mean about not really loving (liking even?) the law but yet feeling somewhat compelled to remain in the profession rather than make a move to another career. I don’t know… I guess I tell myself that my own inertia is the fear that I won’t can’t find another job that will enable me to keep my blood-thirsty student loan lenders at bay… though any income would of course be better than the no-income situation I’m currently mired in. Ha- my sister-in-law even suggested to me a couple of days ago that I get a job at the Gap, saying “hey, you could even wear one of those fun little walkie talkies that they use.” But, then again, she’s a bitch.

Comment by Alex

Hey Alex: Thanks for the comment. It makes me feel good to know that I’m not just blogging to the empty vacuum of the world wide web and that people are also sharing in my experiences after being laid off.

Comment by laidoffdiary

I agree with above post – i check out your blog regularily. I also think Law sucks and know I would be unhappy in it. yet I still look for legal positions along with other type of positions and am still fulfilling my cle credits. I enjoy your blog because you are honest about what most biglaw attorneys wont admit to anyone, even their friends or family, that they are unhappy and suck it up for the money and out of not knowing what else to do and fear, and they have justified their unhappiness by their money and prestigyness.

Comment by unemployed08

Thanks for the comment. I agree, I think tons of people are unhappy in BigLaw. And I don’t know why there is such a stigma about admitting youre unhappy–even after you’ve left it. Maybe it’s just lawyers’ competitive nature.

Comment by laidoffdiary

Agreed, agreed, agreed! I think the (untrue) thought is: “you wouldn’t have been unhappy if you could cut it there,” or some BS like that. That’s why I’m trying to get into the renewable energy market down here in Austin….. it might be nothing but the same BS, but at least I think I might be making a (positive) difference in the world.

Comment by Alex




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