The Laid Off Diary: Dear Diary…this sucks.

April 25, 2009, 5:19 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Dear Diary:

I need to party less.  I’m exhausted. More so than from doing 60 hours of document review. I have yet another party tonight and then an after-party and no excuse because all my friends know I don’t have a job anymore. I have more things on my calendar than I did when I was working. Before when I was working, my schedule looked like this:

Mon: Document Review, go home

Tues: Document Review, go home

Wed: Conference call to see if the deal will ever close, grocery shop, go home

Thurs: Client calls and says closing will be next week, cancel happy hour with coworkers, finalize core document as much as possible, draft collateral documents and closing checklist in anticipation of possible closing next week, hold off on circulating documents and wait for the green light from client, go home.

Fri: Client calls, closing postponed indefinitely. Document review, grab an early drink with coworkers, go home

Sat: Receive email from partner saying closing is now scheduled for Mon. Go to office and double check core document and collateral documents, redline any changes, send to partner, get ok from partner to circulate, circulate to all parties with the caveat that documents are being circulated to all parties at once and remain subject to client’s comments

Sun: Receive comments from other side, client signs of f on document, turn the document and re-circulate

Mon: Show up early to work and prepare for closing, get comments from client even though client previously signed off on document, call client to discuss comments, incorporate client’s new comments and turn document, recirculate, receive more comments from the other side because they were too disorganized to give them to me all at once, call other side and debate certain comments, throw them a bone and accept some comments, turn document and recirculate, participate in several conference calls regarding closing, get thrown under the bus because partner screwed up and got yelled at by client and partner needed a scapegoat.

Monday at 6pm: closing postponed until Tuesday but client wants to sign up documents Monday night to be held in escrow, clear schedule to prepare for late night signing and closing Tuesday.

Monday at 11:30pm: Closing postponed indefinitely but client wants all documents turned just in case we close this week so schedule and make call with other monkey on other side and go over all documents to finalize and incorporate all comments, and finalize all little details like getting names and titles for signature blocks, etc.

Monday at 1am: All documents turned, go home pissed off about being thrown under the bus.

Tues: Document Review, go home

Wed: Document Review, go home

Thurs: Document Review, go home, happy hour with coworkers

Fri: Ah, fuck, more Document Review, go home

Now my schedule looks like this:

Mon: Happy hour, go to a museum, walk in central park, do some grocery shopping, hang out at friend’s apartment and watch a movie, hit a show at Trash Bar in brooklyn and enjoy the open bar.

Tues: Happy hour, a soiree at a friend’s friend’s house, some random networking get together then to watch a broadway play, then go out to a lounge as my friend’s wingperson while friend buys  me drinks in return.

Wed: Lunch with colleagues, make appearance at friend’s birthday party, go to another party, then to after party at a club where friend has a table.

Thurs: Go on some day trip with friend, watch a movie at another friend’s house, have cheap dinner with friends, go to another freaking birthday party, see friend’s bands play, and then to some rootfop bar to enjoy the nice NY weather

Fri: Wake up around noon still drunk, shower drunk, have a late lunch with friends at one of the 50% recession dine in restaurants with a huge hangover, take the ingrate dog out to the park to try to pick up single people after popping 3 tylenols, notice I have run out of clean underwear, turn current underwear inside out and do laundry in time to go out to club where friend has a table, drink free vodka, then go to another lounge with friends, meet random strangers and exchange numbers, go to an after party

Sat: Ah fuck, yet another hangover, rush over to cheap brunch and order the cheapest thing on the menu (around $7), sit in the sun and sweat out alcohol while enjoying a complementary bloody mary, take out ingrate dog, go to late afternoon picnic with friends in central park, go home, watch some television, write on my blog, get dressed, go out to a house party, then to a party at a bar, and then hit a club late night where friend has a table and bottles of vodka.

I am getting worn out. I will write more later after I take my siesta. Drinking on Fridays is getting in the way of my drinking on Saturdays.


1 Comment so far
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Being unemployed sounds much better.

Comment by biglaw partner

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