The Laid Off Diary: Dear Diary…this sucks.

Jumping Through Hoops
April 21, 2009, 1:39 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Dear Diary:

I’m tired of filling out forms. Since being laid off, I feel like all I do is fill out forms and sit on the phone on hold. I had to fill out my Cobra form, my unemployment benefits form, my insurance forms to file claims that occurred while my Cobra was pending, my 401K forms, etc. I had to spend 2 hours on the phone with AT&T dealing with charges on my new iPhone, and I spent about 30 minutes looking at different gym membership plans at the gym yesterday after spending about 2 hours researching gyms on the internet. And then, of course, filling out more forms.

By the way, the biggest blow was looking at the estimated tax and penalties of pulling out my 401k early. No, that’s a lie, the biggest blow was the reported the principal amount that has dwindled into almost nothing after years of faithfully putting in the max (Peter Lynch, what’s your advice now??).

I’m thinking of just being irresponsible for once. All these years of being risk-averse and planning for the future while the present bends me over is wearing me down. So, I’ve decided I’m going to blow about $3K and spend two to three weeks in South America in May. It’s not very long so at most, I’ll probably go to only a few places, but it’s still long enough to make the trip from NYC worth it. And the good thing is, all these years of meticulously managing my finances, I have credit cards galore with $10K-$25K credit limits so if worse comes to worse, I’ll just wrack up my credit card debt, run off with a latin lover, start a cartel of some sort, and disappear for 7 years until I can wipe clean my credit history.

The dream of all American lawyers.

–Wanting to Live the South American Dream


6 Comments so far
Leave a comment

ugh i can’t bring myself to go to the unemployment office. it takes at least 2 hours. plus, the amount won’t even cover my mortgage.

Comment by beesh

Tired of filing out forms? This should be a nice break from all the S-1’s you had to fill out.

Comment by me

please write more. your antibiglaw hatred resonates with me

Comment by BIGLAW slave

How responsible. You already have massive debt from LS loans and credit cards. Now your going to take a 3k vacation.

Why are you joining a gym? You are unemployed. Take up running and start doing resistance work outs (pull ups, situps, push ups, etc, etc). It’s pretty obvious outside of law you make bad decisions. Grow up and start acting like an adult.

Comment by Ano

Your reading comprehension is AMAZING! I hope you still have a job because that would mean there is justice in the world (sarcasm) (or you’re just one of those assholes in BigLaw who blend in with the other assholes so no one has laid you off)

The whole point of the post was to say Fuck It to being responsible and to for ONCE be irresponsible. Did the part about starting a south american cartel not tip you off? What about the sentence “I’m thinking of just being irresponsible FOR ONCE” (emphasis added <– that’s for you, put it in your back pocket)? Get it now?

Also, who says I have “massive” credit card debt? I said I have credit card LIMITS of $10K-$25K (that’s b/c my credit is immaculate and they keep increasing my limit and giving me balance transfer offers every week). I don’t have any credit card debt. I mused about “wracking up credit card debt” (this goes along with my plan of getting a latin lover).

You sound like a meat head.

Comment by laidoffdiary

I say good for you. I’m going to South Beach in a couple of weeks for a 3-day weekend. Clearly I shouldn’t even be doing that, but you know what? Fuck it. I was a slave for a few years, so were you, and we deserve a vacay even if it can be classed irresponsible. We can do with our severance what we wish.

Comment by beesh

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