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Dear Diary:
I think that I was drawn to law because it was a strong interest for me. No, I wouldn’t say passion because…seriously? But, the way of thinking, the analytical aspect, the argument/debate side, the communication fluency and oratory skill needed, the refined writing abilities, etc. is why I went to law school. I truly had an interest in law.
I recently retook the Myers Brigg personality test and I am an ENTP. One website said that it was commonly referred to as the “lawyer” type.
So,then what gives Laid Off? Why are you 1) laid off and 2) so cynical about lawyers and the practice of law?
Pues, everything I valued about law has a minimal part in the actual practice of law, especially in BigLaw. We aren’t valued for our creative or innovative ideas or solutions, we are valued for drinking the koolaid, schmoozing, spending weekends doing pointless and unchallenging work and other such mindless things that have nothing to do with what “LAWYER” embodies.
I liked law, theoretically. I liked the practice of law, theoretically. The ideas of a business lawyer, the creative arguments of a litigator…all synch up with my ENTP personality. But none of these things are highly valued in a BigLaw associate.
BigLaw wants billing machines and by machine, they mean not only one that can sit for 10 hours in a little chair in a little room staring at a little flat screen monitor, but ones that will take orders without question. They don’t value associates for their ideas. (Writing that made me laugh because that would be a hilarious notion to say that BigLaw cares about our ideas). BigLaw doesn’t care about how intellectually curious we are except only to the extent that our curiosity led us to achievements that they can put on their little websites as proof of our pedigree when they go court clients.
We all know that what makes a good law student doesn’t make a good lawyer. What makes a good lawyer theoretically doesn’t always make a good BigLaw lawyer.
And that is the dysfunction of why my personality, which seemed so well suited to be a “lawyer”, did not seamlessly dovetail with actually being a “lawyer” in the real world.
to that I say, goddamn. Goddamn.
