Filed under: Uncategorized
Dear Diary:
Why do I bitch about having worked at BigLaw? Is it because every day I had to bow and scrape to partners who have had three affairs, two extra-marital love children, or perpetually bad breath, a large gut, and a narrow mind? Well, yes, but that’s only part of it. The other part is that I found my derriere squarely on the pavement after putting up with all that shit like a little koolaid drinker. It isn’t our fault that we had no work to do. We associates have to suck on the teets of BigLaw and it’s your fault you guys ran out of milk.
But the real thing that pisses me off is that I don’t know how to live like every other young person in New York that isn’t on a 6 figure salary. I got used to those golden handcuffs. I got used to taking taxis. I got used to nice dinners. I got used to buying drinks for myself and for friends. Now I have to spend 1 hour on the train if I ever want to go all the way downtown or up to Harlem where the unemployment office is.
Surprisingly, as much as I made, I saved very little. I bought into living the life as a “BigLaw” associate of expensive dinners, wool suits, and expensive habits, even though the truth, that no BigLaw associate in NYC wants to admit, is that the BigLaw associate salary really doesn’t stretch THAT much in NYC when you buy into putting up appearances as a successful and sexy BigLaw associate (even though we were a bunch of socially retarded egomanical suckers with six figures worth of debt). The lie of being a powerful, admirable BigLaw associate was all we had to make ourselves feel better in the quiet of the night before dawn breaks about our lives of sucking up to assholes 60 hours a week while acting like we liked it and being treated like a peon.
If we didn’t get paid the outrageous six figures salary, very very few of us would have stuck around. Half of those people who would stick around would consist of assholes who enjoyed working with assholes so they could become partner assholes and throw their weight around (these were the same people who burned ants under a magnifying glass) and the other half would consist of meek, kool-aid drinking people who can’t think for themselves that can only understand orders that are barked at them and who can’t embark on a different path.
The rest of us would have done something meaningful with our lives–admit it.
Yes, those handcuffs were golden, but they also gave us the clap and I still haven’t decided if they were worth it.
–on a “budget”
Filed under: Uncategorized
Dear Diary:
I’m tired of filling out forms. Since being laid off, I feel like all I do is fill out forms and sit on the phone on hold. I had to fill out my Cobra form, my unemployment benefits form, my insurance forms to file claims that occurred while my Cobra was pending, my 401K forms, etc. I had to spend 2 hours on the phone with AT&T dealing with charges on my new iPhone, and I spent about 30 minutes looking at different gym membership plans at the gym yesterday after spending about 2 hours researching gyms on the internet. And then, of course, filling out more forms.
By the way, the biggest blow was looking at the estimated tax and penalties of pulling out my 401k early. No, that’s a lie, the biggest blow was the reported the principal amount that has dwindled into almost nothing after years of faithfully putting in the max (Peter Lynch, what’s your advice now??).
I’m thinking of just being irresponsible for once. All these years of being risk-averse and planning for the future while the present bends me over is wearing me down. So, I’ve decided I’m going to blow about $3K and spend two to three weeks in South America in May. It’s not very long so at most, I’ll probably go to only a few places, but it’s still long enough to make the trip from NYC worth it. And the good thing is, all these years of meticulously managing my finances, I have credit cards galore with $10K-$25K credit limits so if worse comes to worse, I’ll just wrack up my credit card debt, run off with a latin lover, start a cartel of some sort, and disappear for 7 years until I can wipe clean my credit history.
The dream of all American lawyers.
–Wanting to Live the South American Dream
